Switched Worlds
by elf-of-light
Summary: Hogwarts students in Middle Earth? The Fellowship in the castle? this answers the many arising 'what if' questions these books created.


Switched Worlds By Sarah Delorme  
  
"Come on Harry!" yelled Hermione, banging on the door of the hobbit hole. She was dressed as.a hobbit. She didn't mind, as it seemed to complement her over frizzy hair. "No!" shouted Harry's voice from inside. He had been in there changing for 30 minutes. "Don't make me use the wand!" Hermione threatened. Reluctantly the door opened slowly and Harry walked out. His breeches were so wide that he had tied them up with a frayed rope and the legs were too short. It looked like he was wearing too-short-pedal pushers. To top it all off his hair was acting up again and was sticking up at odd angles around his face. He had taken off his glasses and uhh.was having trouble distinguishing Hermione from a tree. "Don't say a word!" he told the tree. Hermione tapped him on the shoulder and he spun around. "Why aren't you handsome!" said Hermione with an evil grin. Harry's eyes widened. "NOOO!" screamed Harry, running away while Hermione chased after him with her arms outstretched and making kissing noises.  
  
Meanwhile, Ron was having his own problems. He was in a dark corridor of the misty mountains with his brothers, Fred and George. They were in a hallway and were expected to mine. "What in bloody hell am I supposed to do with this?" asked Ron, staring at his pick axe. "Well you can start by throwing it over that ridge and not letting go!" suggested Fred, who was having a fit over the chain mail shirt he was wearing. It came up past his bellybutton and he kept claiming he looked like a Cheerleader of the Dark Ages. "How? I can't see below my lower eyelids." Argued Ron, motioning to the fuzzy red beard he had sprouted. Fred rolled his eyes and went back to pulling down his shirt.In vain. George, however, had made fast friends with a dwarf named Thor. Currently they were laughing with each other on a platform on mighty thrones made of stone. Judging by the empty goblets around them, they had had a bit too much to drink. "And you were suspended? Just for blowing something up?" asked Thor. "Yes! -Hic- and then Mummy -hic- flew at us for the Wizard Wheezes Weasleys incident -hic- at home." Laughed George. Then they both collapsed into drunken giggles. "So, George. Are you doing anything this Saturday?" asked Thor with his eyes glistening. George's eyes widened. "I'm straight!" yelled George as he scampered away into darkness. "But darling I love you!" called Thor after him.  
  
As the more popular Weasleys suffered in the dark depths of the mountains, a very content Draco Malfoy lay in the woods of Lothlorien on a silver couch surrounded by very attractive elf women. "Ladies, please. There are enough of me for all of you." He sighed, motioning for an elf to feed him grapes. "Oh but Drakie, we haven't had this much fun since Halidir got naked for the New Years party last millennium!" said an elf girl named Merenwen. Suddenly all the maidens sighed as if they were recalling good times "Ahem!" said Draco, running his fingers through his hair. All he girls dissolved in unison of 'ooooh!'s and giggles. "Show us again, Drakie." Said a flirty elf as the maidens began surrounding him and giggling evilly.  
  
Meanwhile we tune in on all the happenings the first week of Hogwarts.and their new arrivals.  
  
~~~~~~~~~ "Turn into a frog!" yelled Eowyn, hitting Eomer with her wand. Eomer rolled his eyes and grabbed her wand. He held it high above his head. "Come on. You want it? Work for it." He taunted, making Eowyn jump up and down. Finally she got frustrated. "You great big poopy head! I'm telling on you!" she said, stomping her foot. "Oh I'm so scared." Said Eomer sarcastically. "You should be. Give me it now before I do something drastic!" she said, crossing her arms and pouting. Eomer gave her a challenging look. "EOMER HAS A CRUSH ON ARWEN!!! EOMER HAS A CRUSH ON ARWEN!!!" sang Eowyn. "Shut up!" said Eomer, chasing her. "AHHHHH!" screamed Eowyn, running to the safety of the castle.  
  
Legolas was having a bit of a hassle as well. A crowd of girls was chasing him down the corridors. "Help me! Somebody help" he wailed. Suddenly a boy named Robbie stepped out of Detention. Immediately the girls halted. "Oh! Its ROBBIE!" one of the girls screeched. All the girls screamed too and stampeded in his direction. "AHHHHH!" screamed Robbie, running for his life. Legolas sighed with relief and whipped out his compact to check his face. "AHHHH! I have a zit!" he screamed. He turned and ran into the girl's bathroom. There was a bunch of 'ooooh!'s and 'hey legoooo!' from the girls behind the door. He came out a millisecond later with one of his robe's sleeves missing. He glanced around frantically for some sort of cover. He did a double take at the Potion's Class door. "It's for the best." He urged himself before flying through the door.  
  
We now witness an amazing task.Quidditch. Boromir stood gazing at his broomstick with a confused look. "Hurry up!" shouted Frodo, zooming around in the air on his Nimbus. "How?" asked Boromir. "Sit on it and go!" said Frodo. "No, that would be a toilet." Said Pippin, whizzing by and cackling. "Well, here goes."said Boromir. He kicked off and was soon hugging the broomstick for dear life. "HELP MEEEEE!" he squealed. "Oh, come on!" laughed Pippin, doing a flip. "Yeah, loser!" said Frodo. Boromir got mad. He flew up and up and up.and fell down and down and down, into the ground. Frodo and Pippin exchanged nervous glances and flew down. Pippin grabbed Boromir's hair and lifted his head out of the grass. "You okay?" asked Pippin. "Oh, yeah. I love dirt." Said Boromir sarcastically. "That's what you get for being a klutz." Said Frodo simply. "I'm telling my little brother on you!" Said Boromir, before running away.  
  
"Oh but daddy!" whined Arwen, "Everyone has an owl!" "Listen Dumpling you are allergic to birds and anyway why send letters to friends that are in the same school?" asked Elrond calmly. "I don't care! I want one and I want it NOW!" she demanded, crossing her arms. "Why would you want a filthy beast anyway?" asked Elrond. "Well Alassë got one and she's just a lady in waiting. Shouldn't the princess stay better?" pleaded Arwen. Elrond sighed and rolled his eyes. "I hate you! Well I'm going to run away! Run away and find a new daddy!" cried Arwen. "I'm sorry cupcake, but elves aren't made of galleons." Said her father. Arwen took a deep breath, threw her head in the air and screamed. She screamed for 5 minutes straight. "Are you finished Darling?" asked Elrond. Arwen turned bright red and grabbed one of Elrond's braids. She pulled and his toupee fell off. "Who's laughing now?" asked Arwen, who began running away with it. "Give it to me!" ordered Elrond. "NO!" said Arwen, clutching it tighter. "Arwen Evenstar! You listen to your father now!" yelled Elrond. "No!" said Arwen. "Now or else no Yule Ball!" screamed her father. Arwen again started screaming and stamping her feet in rage. "GIMME AN OWL! GIMME AN OWL!" she screeched.  
  
"Now.erm. was your name again?" professor Snape asked Aragorn. "Is that a threat? Oh I better not be telling him." said Aragorn insanely clutching his sword. Snape raised an eyebrow. "Your name please and then I can begin this lesson." Said Snape angrily. "Yes well I bet you didn't know you had a KING yes a KING of all GONdor in your CLASS, professor." Said Aragorn. Suddenly Legolas ran in the door and sat down in a chair next to Aragorn, panting. Snape raised an eyebrow at him expectantly. "Girls." Said Legolas simply. Snape nodded and turned back to Aragorn. "For the last time your name!" asked Snape icily. Legolas looked at Aragorn, then at Snape. "This is Ara~" Legolas was cut off by Aragorn kicking him under the table. "I mean Bradley." Snape glared them both. "Very well. Class! I for today's Invincibility Potion you will need 3 cups of thinly sliced Seerusnox liver. Get to work." Ordered Snape as he sat down at his desk. Legolas got out his ingredients but was afraid to touch the slimy thing that was a liver. "Say Arago." Legolas' voice trailed off as Aragorn was looming above the table and his liver with his sword held high above his head. "DIE YOU EVIL ORCS! DIEEEEE!" Aragorn yelled before he brought down the sword, slicing the liver.and the table. "I think I'm gonna be sick." said Legolas, running out the door. "I WILL KILL THEM ALL!" yelled Aragorn, running after him. In the main Hall, Legolas ran straight into Faramir, who was trying to be console Boromir. "They called me a klutz. A klutz I ask you! My father is the steward of Gondor and they think I'm a klutz? That isn't nice." Boromir said before bursting into tears. "Honestly Boromir you are a klutz." Said Faramir, patting his back. Boromir wailed louder. "KILL THEM! KILL THEM ALL!" shouted Aragorn who was running around in circles with his sword high in the air. Suddenly Eowyn burst in the door and ran to Legolas. "Save meeeee!" she cried, running in circles around him. Eomer came in shortly after, red in the face. "Lemme at her!" he growled. "AHHHH! Legolas! Shield me with your skirt!" Eowyn cried. "Skirt?" asked Legolas, his lower lip trembling. "IT'S A MANLY JERKIN AND YOU'RE JUST JEALOUS!" Legolas yelled, before burying his head in his hands and sobbing. Then, Elrond came down the stairs with Arwen, who was still screaming, "GIMME AN OWL! GIMME AN OWL!" at the top of her lungs. Suddenly there was a boom as the hall doors burst open and Harry came running in, with Hermione still chasing him and making kissing noises. "SAVE ME FROM A MOST PAINFULLY EMBARASSING DEATH!" Harry wailed before running in a circle once again. "AHHH! Look what they did to my beautiful bleached hair!" wailed Draco, who had burst in the door. His hair was dyed green and had pink bows and sprigs of flowers in it. The crowd of elf maidens followed him, with bottles of hair care products and giggling evilly. The commotion was very heavy when suddenly, the ground rumbled and amidst the shouting, a hole was made in the floor and George flew out of it, with Thor in close pursuit. "Help me! I'm being chased by a gay dwarf!" he exclaimed, hiding behind Faramir. Soon Ron came out of the hole, yelling: "Cheerleader of the Dark Ages!" and running away from Fred, who was chasing him with the pick axe. Suddenly, Dumbledor strode in with Gandalf and acting as if the were year old friends. There bearded faces fell open wide when they heard the ruckus and saw the many, many afraid, crying, and chasing people. Gandalf turned to Dumbledor and slapped him. "What was that for?" asked Dumbledor. Gandalf shrugged and put up his fists. "Let's rumble chicken wings!" Gandalf said threateningly. "You want some? Get some!" Dumbledor yelled, pinching Gandalf. They both continued girly pinching, slapping, and pushing until they had joined the commotion with the others. ~~~~~~~~~~~~ And this is what would happen my friend, if we Switched Worlds. 


End file.
